I’m My Own Grandpa

Many many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow, who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her, and soon they too were wed
This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
My daughter was my mother cause she was my father’s wife
To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy
My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle, then he also was a brother
To the widow’s grown up daughter, who of course was my stepmother
Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter’s son
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too
Now, if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild,
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
‘Cause now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband to my grandmother, I am my own grandpa
Oh, I’m my own grandpa
I’m my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so
I’m my own grandpa

Written by Dwight Latham & Moe Jaffe